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Sponsor |  Bunty | Oct 15, 2007 8:58pm | Q. Why do anarchists drink herbal infusions?
A. Cos proper tea is theft!
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Q. What does a trotkyist taxi service look like?
A. They tell you where you're going and how to get there.
Q. What does an anarchist taxi service look like?
A. The driver-passenger relationship represents an essential hierarchical relationship which must be broken down through long co-operative discussion and decision-making. Once all the occupants of the taxi are on equal terms, and those external to the taxi are aware and comfortable with their freedom to associate or disassociate with those within the taxi, discussions of possible destinations can begin in earnest. ...
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"What do you get if you cross a situationist with a mafioso? A guy who makes you an offer you can't understand." (via BfB)
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Q: How many voters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: voting can't change a thing.
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How many right-Libertarians does it take to change a light-bulb?
Nope, if it needed changing the market would do it.
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Q: How many anarcho-primitivists does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: Why should they change it -- they deliberately broke the thing in the first place as part of their attempt to destroy the oppressive, technological mega-machine we live under
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Q: How many anarcho-individualists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One.
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Does an Anarchist man have an antistate gland instead of a prostate gland?
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How many King Arthurs does it take to change a light bulb?
King Arthur: "I am Arthur, king of the Britons! The lady of the lake rose from the waters and tossed me a light bulb, that it may be placed in the holy socket!"
Anarcho-syndicalist #1: "What the bloody hell? Some wet tart isn't no basis for civil light bullb changing! We know how you really got that light bulb in place! By exploiting the working class!"
Anarcho-syndicalist #2: "There you go again, bleating on about class!"
Anarcho-syndicalist #1: "But class it what it's all about!"
King Arthur: "I am your leader!"
Anarcho-syndicalist #1: "Oh, did you see that? He's oppressin' me!"
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How many Bakuninists does it take to change a light bulb?
(first possible answer): One, but only because the material circumstances of mankind suggest that there was no supernatural lightmaker to "let there be light." Being a jealous lover of human darkness, I reverse the statement of Voltaire and say: If a supernatural light maker really existed, it would be necessary to abolish him. If a supernatural light maker is, man is not; if a supernatural light maker is everything, man is nothing.
(second possible answer): Two. One to change the light bulb and another to demand that workers take direct control of the means of production, without state representation, which has up to this point enslaved and degraded mankind.
(third possible answer): One, but he must be Slavic--the inability to form a strong government in Slavic history is proof that the Slavs are innately free people, whereas the Germanic people are inherently autocratic.
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How many Proudhonists does it take to change a lightbulb?
(first possible answer): One, but under the Roman-law definition of things, "lighting is theft."
(second possible answer): Three: One to change the lightbulb, another to declare that all lightbulb changers must be equal and another to say that there are "inferior races of lightbulb changers" and that female light bulb changers do not deserve the same equality as male light bulb changers.
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How many Dadaists does it take to change a light bulb?
Bathtub full of power tools.
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How many anarchists does it take to change a light bulb?
42
one to change the bulb, two to launch a bombing campaign against the bulb as a symbol of capitalist oppression, and 39 to start a self help group to persuade light bulbs every where that they shouldn't obey oppressive institutions such as light bulb fittings but should otherthrow the electricity dictatorship and form a free society where all electrical appliances can live in non exploitative harmony with their comrades in the class struggle, the calculators. |
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|  utlan | Dec 4, 2007 4:07am | What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians??
Libertarians are anarchists with money.
Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything
is property.
Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of
other options.
Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo.
Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through
their windshields.
Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting.
Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists
get mugged by the police.
A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after
sleeping with enough anarchists.
Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys
to fight them.
Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they
rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend
property that nobody rightfully owns.
Libertarians are organized in a political party; anarchists aren't
organized in anything.
Anarchists ignore elections; Libertarians run for office, vote and
lose.
Libertarians think anarchists are naive and unrealistic; anarchists
don't care what libertarians think. |
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|  chetmo | Dec 13, 2007 12:14am | | Libertarians believe in the right to be left alone. Anarchists believe in the right to tell everyone what to do. Neither believe that they have to listen to anyone else... |
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Sponsor | | Morosoph | Dec 13, 2007 7:57am | Sorry for the serious post amid this rare opportunity to stand in the shit and sip tea.
3. The real difference between anarchists and libertarians is property. Anarchists only believe in "telling everyone what to do" if you count "use stuff in common" (ie. for a libertarian "your stuff") as being told what to do.
Having said that, the difference on property is no small matter. All the same, if you compare real libertarians with real anarchists, you'll find that few libertarians believe in "intellectual property", and if they do, it's very weak. As for anarchists, most believe in at least ownership of tools of trade. They aren't intellectually such polar opposites, even if politically aligned with our "great divide" between "right" and "left".
There is a middle way, and that lies through natural law. Or, for those who don't believe in it, a certain kind of common law. For those who don't believe in courts, evolutionary social norms could do the trick.
Since both sides make concessions regarding property, it's interesting to see if there is a continuum. We already have cases on the books where property is re-allocated through use. Roads and rights of way, in particular, can become the codification of norms. Also, intellectual property is time-limited, even if the **AA think that it shouldn't be.
If the standard by which we measure progress becomes more human-centric, then it is easy to see how stealing half of one person's property is comparable with stealing half of another's (other things, such as how hard both parties have worked for their property, being equal), so it would be fair in each case for the punishment to be similar.
Currently, such thinking seems strange, but to a human-centric society, it would seem normal. Such a society would realistically be half libertarian, half anarchist, IMO, since property is a part of human nature, and yet no-one should be a slave.
As for the jokes... Back on your heads! |
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| | chetmo | Dec 15, 2007 7:56pm | Maybe, I should point out that I used the word 'tell', not 'order'... I didn't want to give the impression that I think anarchists really want to be in charge (though I believe that secretly, they do..) so much as they like using free speech to express their concepts on how to live...
Well, if you would entertain a more serious post...
Scratch a libertarian, you'll find a pissed off tax payer....
Scratch an anarchist, you'll find a disillusioned socialist....
I'm serious. Most of the current writings by soi-disant "anarchists" tend to remind of where Vladimir Lenin got his start..
Back to the humor...
Libertarians are fans of:
Anarchists are fans of:
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| | utlan | Dec 17, 2007 4:00pm | | www.primitivism.com |
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| | chetmo | Dec 18, 2007 10:11am | Libertarians want the right to build a Starbucks in their backyard...
Anarchists want to start a free trade coffee plantation in theirs... |
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Sponsor | | Thomas-Jefferson | Dec 18, 2007 10:22am | | Don't anarchists want the right to panhandle in front of the libertarians starbucks? |
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